follow the good feelings

I was reading a post on Mothering.coms discussion board about family focus vs. having a family that is focused on one members interests. I was shocked, I had worked to find activities that our whole family could enjoy and just in the last year I noticed (probably because younger DS is not a "blob" anymore) that younger DS was hating going to all the activities we were involved in.

My solution was to drop older DS off at activities and let younger DS stay home (where he really wants to be). However, this solution never felt right because although older DS and YDS were happy with the situation I wasn't (it was a pain) and also (a)there was much less time to do family interests together and (b) members got used to choosing to schedule their days based on individual interests. So for example when two kids (or adults) interests had a timing conflict (and since we only have one car this happens often) members would expect to have their needs met. Meanwhile, as I said before, we were not spending our energy exploring, generating, or doing family interests (and they were dwindling).

You know when something has been brewing and percolating in your brain and then something triggers inside and you can never see things the same again....thats what happened...thanks Dharmamama.

We (the parents) are now setting down limits on individual activities. Our children are readjusting, sometimes with tears or anger, but in my heart we know this is right so they are accepting it. Now we will have time to commit to more family activities which will make the adjustment go smoother.

Parenting is the hardest job, and yet I have never grown as much.

Kimberly